By Kim Michael

I once wrote about an atheist who every morning upon rising, lifted his head upward and said “thank you”, not that it was important for someone in the great somewhere to hear it, but important for he, himself, to hear it...from his own lips.

I believe that being truly thankful, having a thankful heart, is something more than what you may think; a state of mind, or maybe even a state of “life”.  I have pondered this idea for a long time and even mentioned it once to an acquaintance one day. He just looked at me. Didn’t have a clue what I meant or what I was trying to say.

It is difficult to explain but I truly believe that living in a state of "thankfulness" is a significant part of being happy. A thankful heart has no room for bitterness, or the poisons that plague our lives, or the crosses we needlessly bear. A thankful heart knows how to live. and appreciate, and love without boundaries. And a thankful heart can forgive even the those who need forgiveness the most...ourselves. And once in a while, if we’re lucky, the cosmic tumblers of providence will click into place and for just a moment, we see life in perfect clarity, without the noise of "selfness" that often clouds our vision.

I was reminded of this when the wife of a very dear friend of mine succumbed to cancer. Her name was Barbara, and though I did not know her well, I knew her from Facebook, seeing the pictures over the years of her and her daughter and her family, and particularly her little grandsons, all of whom she loved so deeply, just seeing those pictures touched me greatly. In a way I felt I knew her. Sadly, I did not know of her passing until after she was gone, and I wanted to give my friend and his family something that only I can do. In the course of putting together a short memorial video I ran across this entry on Facebook, Barbara’s own words, a message for her friends and loved ones, in anticipation of her passing and it profoundly affected me. Her words reminded me of the beauty, and nobility, and grace that we are all capable of when thankfulness is the center of our lives instead of an afterthought... and I wanted to share with you.

March 17th, 2022

This post is going to be extremely difficult to write, but I wanted to have something written down so that my friends and family will have something to read and re-read in the months and years to follow.

Yesterday, my wonderful husband and daughter took me to what is now confirmed as my last doctors appointment at Sloan. Although we knew it was coming, it was confirmed that my cancer has in fact grown and spread and treatment is no longer an option. I will be starting my hospice journey next week with my wonderful family by my side.

I have received so many wonderful and thoughtful calls and texts these past few days and I appreciate each and every one of them. If I don’t have the opportunity to respond I wanted everyone to know how much I love each and everyone of you. I will forever cherish all of our laughs, cries, and amazing memories. The remaining few weeks I have will be filled with good food, lots of laughs and lots of music.. just the way I want it. I had an amazing life and I will forever cherish all the wonderful memories.

I married my soulmate at 20, had two beautiful children (plus a second son who is the most amazing son in law) and was beyond fortunate enough to be here for the births of my pride and joy, my grandsons.

I lived a beautiful life and although I wish my journey wasn’t ending so soon.. I am forever grateful for all of you. All the love and support you’ve provided myself and my family is forever appreciated. Please continue to surround my family with all the love and support they need. Every time you put on red lipstick, wear leopard or go to TJ Maxx.. think of me.

I love you all.

Barbara passed away on April 9, 2022 and my guess is even now, she is showing the angels a thing or two about red lipstick, wearing animal prints and singing at the top of one’s lungs, even if you don’t know the words....And for my money...that's they way Heaven should be.